I had a really weird dream last night. I was driving this red car shaped like a banana and I went across a rainbow bridge into candyland. It was the start of an awesome day, as you can probably tell from how absolutely AMAZING that dream was. Seriously I woke up with a big grin on my face. It was almost as great as the dream where I was hiding Sirius Black in my shed, or when I went to a Final Fantasy themepark and rode a chocobo. ALMOST.

Anyways, I am having so much fun here. I don’t even know HOW I mean like, I don’t really hang out with my mates much outside of school, and I’m always studying or doing Kyuudo but I AM SERIOUSLY HAVING WAY TOO MUCH FUN. THIS IS WHY I AM DREAMING OF CROSSING THE RAINBOW BRIDGE TO CANDYLAND IN A RED BANANA-SHAPED CAR. Like, I’m having so much fun I can like, forget about how my host sis probably doesn’t like me, and how like, I have nothing to do on Sundays because my friends are always studying, or how like, my Japanese is so bad. This is probably because I count listening to BUMP OF CHICKEN as studying. WHY NOT, I SAY. Plus, I learn so much from Japanese Disney, seriously. Like Brother Bear taught me soooo many words, it was magical.

I really have no idea what to talk about. I’M GOING TO A WEDDING SOON? AND MY FAM ARE FORCING ME TO A WEAR A KIMONO? I can see this going horribly wrong. HORRIBLY wrong. Somehow I don’t think I am quite the kimono type. I am quite happy to wear a dress, but noooo, just when I got out of my boyish phase and actually started to appreciate dresses, I don’t even get to wear one to a wedding! I have to wear a KIMONO. A foreigner in a kimono. I just don’t think it’ll look right, and I don’t want to turn up at this wedding looking like some sort of try-hard foreigner. In fact, I’d rather wear a kilt, and then I can be all traditional and even more gaijin than I already appear. Though, I could probably still wear a kilt and people would STILL call me American or Irish, or GODDAMNIT, English. No one seems to get that I am Scottish, a part from my homeroom teacher. And it took a lot of BRITAIN IS FOUR DIFFERENT COUNTRIES (shut up we’re counting Wales as a country here) lectures for her to finally get it.

Hey speaking of being an annoying foreigner, I won an art prize. I came like, first in the whole of Saga Prefecture or something. Actually, I don’t even know if that’s true or not but that’s what my teacher said. It REALLY pissed me off. And okay, I know I should be happy but like, I came here to just learn Japanese and now I am owning my classmates at art which I REALLY don’t want. Like, I mean, I’m a year older than them because I do art with the sixteen year olds instead of the seventeen year olds but still, it’s really awkward when I’m some new kid in school and I’m just taking all the awards. I really don’t like it, especially seeing as I had an age advantage. I wish my art teacher (who I really, really dislike, by the way, he’s so creepy) had like, ASKED FOR MY PERMISSION before submitting my painting, which was really crap, by the way and I’M NOT JUST SAYING THAT. I really half-assed it because I didn’t like the subject, I didn’t like the teacher, I was in a class full of boys (save one girl) so they all stared at me like I had three heads or something and I was just like SCREW THIS ART LESSON I DON’T NEED THE GRADES I AM SO NOT GOING TO GANBARIMASU. So yeah. I’m really annoyed. My mood will be made better slightly if I win money for this award. If I don’t, the next time we’re asked to draw something I am going to deliberately make it really shitty. 8D

Oh, and since I’m in a ranting mood, I am going to rant about the exchange students that REFUSE TO SPEAK ENGLISH. Like, I’m the only exchange student for miles where I live so like, I’m all on my own in this city and thus have never experienced it but I hear about it and it kinda makes me a little annoyed when people are all like ‘blahblahblah I came here to speak Japanese so quit trying to improve your grades’. Personally, I became an exchange student because I wanted to learn another language, but that isn’t going to stop me from trying to help out my classmates, who have welcomed me so well, made me feel like such a part of the class and stuff. Most of the time I DO speak Japanese, but there’s a girl who I only talk English with, because she wants to learn English. I don’t think it’s detrimental to my language-learning at all– I correct her in Japanese, and if she uses a word in English that I don’t know in Japanese, I’ll ask her what it is. But yeah, I feel that it’s really self-centred of people to always just talk in their host language when their fellow students are trying to converse in their native one. It’s RUDE. I think schools accept exchange students to be beneficial to the students already there, so like, when I hear the whole ‘omg i’m so pissed because this kid tried to talk to me in english’ deal I just want to strangle something. u___u

SO UM. I DON’T KNOW WHAT ELSE TO RANT ABOUT SO NOW I’LL JUST START GOING ON ABOUT KYUUDO GUYS ARE YOU STILL READING THIS LOL? Anyways, kyuudo is quickly becoming like, my favourite thing. It’s just… I can’t describe it. I think Japan is the only country in the world in which your school club becomes like… I DON’T KNOW. A really, really, really important thing? Like the sense of community you get is just amazing. If I hadn’t joined kyuudo, I doubt I would be having this much fun. I pretty much love EVERYONE in the club, from Mahiro who always gives me hugs or covers my eyes and shouts ‘DAAAARRREEE DAAAA’ to Haruna who helps me so much with my forms and when we part she always says ‘Be careful because you’re so cute!’. I’m even starting to become friends with Machoman (whose real name I have no idea) who’s actually in my class. He always buggers off to the library to read manga. And like, he has friends and everything but somehow he just seems to find manga more appealing? I find it really odd. ANYWAYS. Even Kyuudo-Guy-With-Sexy-Arms is becoming one of my regular conversation holders, and Captain always waves to me in the corridors now. I LOVE THIS CLUB SO SO SOOOOO MUCH. I’m already dreading leaving, it’s going to be so hard to like… not have kyuudo, and I’ve only been doing it for two and a bit months. I have a competition in March though.

I HAVE A COMPETITION IN MARCH. Like, I didn’t even get to decide this. My friend Ayumi was just like wrenching my shoulders back one day (not randomly LOL in kyuudo our shoulders have to be like, literally POKER STRAIGHT) and she was all like “OH HEY GUESS WHAT YOU HAVE A COMPETITION IN MARCH LOL LOL HAVE FUN”. I am no way good enough to be entering competitions. And suuuure, March is ages away but I AM NOT MESSING UP MY FIRST KYUUDO COMPETITION. LIKE YEAH NO. Though, I’m actually pretty excited. I want to gather around Mikiko the kyuudo club tree again and tell everyone to do their best. Except last time I was just like “…ano… ganbatte, minna” which was apparantly seizure-inducing or something because the whole circle broke up and everyone was just like “KAWAAAAIIIIIII”. I am so sick of being kawaii. When do I get to be kakkoi, damnit!?

I went shopping on Tuesday (I basically had tonnes of days off school because everyone had exams) and I got paid £60 for working at the balloon festival from my grandparents. DUDE. DUUUUUUUUUUUUDE. SIXTY QUID!!! IT WAS AMAZING. I GOT PAID SIXTY QUID FOR HAVING A GOOD TIME LOL. Anyways, me my okaasan, my okaasan’s friend Satou-san and her kid Koki went to Saga City to go hit the shops (or hit the shops as well as you can in a hick place like Saga Prefecture). After trailing around a bunch of pottery shops, bread shops, bag shops and supermarkets we finally reached SHOT, the cheapest store I have ever been to in my liiiife. It was so cheap with awesome Japanese fashion and everything and it was just so orgasmic. I had sixty quid. I bought a pretty ruffly skirt, a long-sleeved shirt, a hoodie, leggings and a hoodie-jacket thing ALL FOR SIXTY QUID. DUDE. SHOT IS SO AMAZING. The hoodie jacket thing is so odd. Like, I don’t think I could wear it back home without getting funny looks but whatever I so am. What’s ‘in’ in Japan right now is so schmental, I can’t even describe. These shorts with furry bits at the bottom are in. I really want a pair but the only ones at SHOT were tartan-red or tartan-blue and that’s more of a Jenny/Harriet thing. I just want a plain denimish pair but I can’t seem to find any anywheeeereeee. Oh, Tuesday was also my brother’s birthday. Like, my host bro. And we went to this really odd shop. Where they sold a LOT of porn (we didn’t buy any for my bro LOL LOL). Like, there was so much guy on guy everywhere it was slightly disturbing. But the shop DID sell… GET THIS. ONE PIECE HEADPHONES.

FUCKING ONE PIECE HEADPHONES GUYS. They were like, about ten quid. I so could have bought them, but  I needed to buy my host bro a birthday present and even though these headphones were calling out to me in the singing voices of angels I bought my bro a really cool sort of vintage-like lighter, and he seemed really happy with it, so it made me feel good and slightly better about missing the opportunity for ONE PIECE HEADPHONES. Siiiiigh. Anyways, my host bro doesn’t like sweet things (i know wtf) so we didn’t have a cake. Instead, we had a LOT of fried chicken. It would have made KFC jealous, seriously.

Oh, on Saturday (LOL I WENT FROM TUESDAY TO SATURDAY WTF) I had a BBQ with my festival pals. I LOVE them. They are so brilliantly funny, though Kuro-chan wouldn’t stop talking about this one time I punched him real hard. I had a good reason to though because he was like “oh hey hakujin (white person, it’s kinda my nickname from him LOL), there’s a n***er” this one time at a festival really loudly when the black guy who walked past COULD have heard and I was all like OH NO YOU DIDN’T and punched him in the shoulder. I didn’t know I hit him hard until this BBQ when he claimed I was barbaric and not a girl at all. Senpai just congratulated me, and my uncle Takeru-san slagged me off so I punched him in the stomach. 8′D DON’T MESS WITH ME, JAPANESE MEN. Anyways, I spent most of the BBQ with Senpai and my host-cousin Ayano making all the meat for people. I also ate so many oysters. Where have oysters been all my life. I FUCKING LOVE THEM LOL. Anyways, I was the only person who ate my oysters with chopsticks because the whole drinking them out of the shell thing kinda disturbs me haha. AAAANYWAYS, I swear my colleagues want to get my drunk. They keep handing me beer and everything. In fact Senpai just did it as a joke but I actually took it and took a swig hahaha he looked so surprised LOOOOOL.

Uuuurrrr, what else do I saaaaaaaaaaaay. Oh yeah, I haven’t been to home ec for like, a month. It’s not like I’m purposely skiving it, it’s just that I have no idea where my class has gone. I check the sewing room, the cooking room and even the classroom we sometimes use and THEY’RE NOT THERE. I think they’re hiding from me so maybe it’s just like, best for everyone if I don’t turn up LOL oh boy way to make me feel good about myself. :/

Anyways, this is kinda really long so maybe I should shut up now and save the rest of my shit for another post. If you’ve got this far, congratulations, and LEAVE A COMMENT. <3 oh i am just a comment whore aren’t i

BAAAIII-BAIIII~

Seriously guys what is up with the lack of comments. I am starting to think MAYBE YOU LOT HAVE FORGOTTEN ABOUT ME. You don’t want me to think that… do you?

Okay, so all this week I have had the cold from hell. Actually, I still have the cold from hell. It like feels as though my chest is splitting open every time I cough. And I couldn’t go to school or kyuudo. SERIOUSLY, HOW WIERD IS THIS I ACTUALLY WANT TO GO TO SCHOOL LOL. And obviously I want to go to Kyuudo. I really want to write a blog in Japanese just to show off to you people but my stupid keyboard has issues, and won’t turn into Japanese despite being a Japanese keyboard. It has issues with its race, poor thing.

Okay ow, I just coughed and it really really hurt. WAAAAAH.

So like, despite being in Japan I am developing a love for Korean music. It’s just so, so, soooooo much better than Japanese music. Here’s one that I can’t stop listening to, because it’s so awesome and so sad. It’s wierd this is totally not the kind of music I’d listen to at home.  I’ve started really getting into like, hiphop and R&B. Shhh, it’s peer pressure guys seriously. Anyways, this is Haru Haru by Korean boyband Big Bang. It’s quite an old song but it’s still popular over here, haha.

Anyways, because I’ve been ill, I don’t really have much to talk about. I had an awesome time on Senpai’s motorbike, by the way. Motorbikes are so FOR ME. I just loved the feeling off going so fast and the wind in your face and everything. It was pretty awesome. Anyways, I was feeling pretty homesick on Wednesday, sooooooooo I wrote down all the good memories of summer. <3 Enjoy, guys!

• discussing Eurotrip with everyone, mooching off Hattie’s discount
• going to the zoo with Isla, Stew, Jenny and Euan and never being so hungry before in my life.
• EUAN’S MINI-SODA!!!!!
• Everyone jumping off the roof at Leuty’s party.
• Going over to Stew’s for an intense Brawlover.
• Going over to Stew’s for an intense Yugiohver.
• GUYS & DOLLS!!! Shh, guys, it was practically summer.
• Hattie, Kathryn and I’s shopping splurge after the exam results.
• NOT MEETING UP WITH RACHEL ONCE. D8<
• visiting Zoe for the first time and Hattie’s flowers in the cancer ward incident.
• Cat, Jenny and I hanging out at that awesome cafe after visiting Zoe.
• Planning the board game fest haha.
• ANIMA PIZZA PLUS GOSSIP GIRL EQUALS <3 <3 <3
• The girly sleepover where we read boymags LOL.
• Leuty’s awesome half-naked girl playing cards.
• Stew and Jenny playing YGO… on my stomach.
• Somehow meeting up with everyone randomly in town and spending hours at the bus stop waiting for everyone’s bus…
• Binging from Tesco goodies.
• Not going to the Fringe at all. WTF????
• Jenny’s house party and the LEWIS INCIDENT.
• Throwing tennis balls at Jenny’s brother’s window after being locked out… because of me.
• LIZZIE FUCKING MCGUIREEEEE
• INTERLUDE: why does it feel like all summer was spent at Jenny’s house LOL
• Kathryn’s home-made Rocky Road.
• GETTING CONTACT LENSES.
• My last Hibs game. ;__;
• Discussing Eurorail… AGAIN.
• JENNY’S FOUR DAY BRAWLOVERRRRR
• and playing more Mario Kart than Brawl.
• The ‘magic fence’ in Rainbow Road and laughing for like, fifteen minutes straight
• “WHAT ABOUT KICK THE CAN!?”
• becoming practically nocturnal
• trying to get people into Superchick
• CHINESE TAKEOUUUUTTTT
• pictionary!!!
• Yuichi’s hilariously vague drawings.
• Euan’s hilariously awful drawings.
• The failed game of charades.
• JUST HANGING OUT TALKING ENGLISH OH MY GOD
• The mini-Tesco. And buying supplies which were esentially coke and muffins
• Watching Labyrinth with Isla, Sarah, and Saywood just to fangirl David Bowie.
• PERSONA with Jenny, Sarah and Saywood– and my thumb cramping after pressing ‘X’ too much
• Everyone looting my room at my leaving party
• Hugging everyone gooooodbyeeee

BAWWW I MISS YOU GUYS. And hey, don’t you think there was a lack of alcohol this summer compared with the rest of the year? Or is that just me LOL. Anyways, I hope I can make as many good memories here in Japanland. So that when I get back  I can write a list of all the amazing things that happened to me here. <3

Also, also, also. THIS http://img691.imageshack.us/img691/563/cardgames.png IS JUST SO BRILLIANT ON SO MANY LEVELS. SOOOO MANY LEVELS. And I just walked to my nearest vending machine to get my weekly coca-cola fix and I just realised that I live near tonnes of creepy-looking warehouses. Like, reeeaalllyyy creepy looking and old and everything. And I was just like WOAH HOW COME I NEVER NOTICED THIS BEFORE. Waaah, I can see them outside my window they’re gunna haunt me~~~~

I am going to start this update by–

OH MY GOD MY HOST BRO JUST GOT A MOTORBIKE OH MY GOD MY HOST BRO JUST GOT A MOTORBIKE OH MY GOD MY HOST BRO JUST GOT A MOTORBIKE OH MY GOD MY HOST BRO JUST GOT A MOTORBIKE OH MY GOD MY HOST BRO JUST GOT A MOTORBIKE OH MY GOD MY HOST BRO JUST GOT A MOTORBIKE OH MY GOD MY HOST BRO JUST GOT A MOTORBIKE OH MY GOD MY HOST BRO JUST GOT A MOTORBIKE OH MY GOD MY HOST BRO JUST GOT A MOTORBIKE OH MY GOD MY HOST BRO JUST GOT A MOTORBIKE OH MY GOD MY HOST BRO JUST GOT A MOTORBIKE OH MY GOD MY HOST BRO JUST GOT A MOTORBIKE

A motorbike. That’s like, a bike with a motor. And he has one. I have never been so jealous and in awe and irritated that he’s not old enough to give me a lift in my life. Kensuke why are you seventeen you bastard. You could have magicaly grown two years. Geez. Not that it really matters because on Sunday my senpai is letting me ride on the back of his bike. Senpai is the most awesome Japanese guy ever, just FYI. We made a promise and everything and he said I can kick him in the nuts if he breaks it.

SOOOOO I have no idea what to write about. Part of me says Camp Tokyo II but first breaking news breaking news breaking news.

HOSNAP. IT’S A ONE PIECE MOVIE (OF WHICH I UNDERSTAND THE LIKE, FOUR WORDS OF THE TRAILER). I should stop being obsessed with One Piece. Instead I should vent my obsessions in relatively normal things like shoes or something. But I’d rather watch a One Piece movie with the crew in mafia garb than have a large collection of heels. WHY WAS I BORN SUCH AN ABNORMAL GIRL? Being in Japan has taught me that being an OP nerd is not a bad thing. Too bad that when I come back to Scotland it automatically becomes uncool again.

So. Camp Tokyo II was a rave. It made me realise just how much I miss being funny and understanding other people being funny. Seruiously. Now, whenever I’m doing something at school I think how much of myself I could be if only I was speaking English. Right now, English defines me as a person– without English, I’m not me. I think that’s the same for everyone and their native language. Being in this country has taught me that language is probably the most important thing in the world. Communication and all that jazz– it’s raised my motivation to master this language… but unfortunately I probably won’t be able to by the twelfth of December which is when the One Piece movie comes out. WHYYYYYY

Shut up about One Piece, you stupid fangirl.

So, to begin the trip I went to my area rep’s house. My area rep, Akone, is awesome– and I had my first sleepover here with fellow exchangers Melissa the Mexican and Nicole the Australian. Why are there so many Australians here? SERIOUSLY. And everyone keeps asking if I’m Australian and I think it’s because all the Ozzies come to Japan. I miss British people. We are so not the same as the rest of the western world. >:[ Anyways, talking English for three days was amazing and the first night it was such a novelty that we sat up all night and talked haha. Though, both of them have fellow exchangers in their school where as I am all aloooone. I’m the first exchange student Kashima highschool has had for ten years. THE PRESSURE, GUYS. I’m not even a very good one. So, we had to get up at six to catch that damn plane and I nearly made us miss it by forgetting my contact lenses at Akone’s house haha OOPS. That was the start of me being the biggest idiot for the entire trip. People told me it was ‘charming’ and ‘part of my personality’. UH YEAH KAY THANKS GUYS. We actually ended up having to spend four hours in the airport at Tokyo which was ridiculous because we could have spent that time shopping at Harajuku (we had the choice to go to either Akihabara or Harajuku but what is nerdiness compared to SHOPPING HELL YESSSS). At Harajuku I met up with Bec and Poppy again (not Ada because she’s a cheap loser) and it was soooo awesome seeing them again, haha. So we all took purikura (little photo sticker things), joined by a german girl called Alessa who I briefly talked to at the first orientation. There was also a new Brazilian chick called Mariana who lives with Isato. So jealous! They’re both lovely people so they must have soooo much fun every day. ;~; No fair no fair. But what am I saying my host family is awesoome~.So anyways, at Harajuku me and Nicole had like, five minutes left basically and we were stressing because we were in Harajuku and WE STILL HADN’T BOUGHT ANYTHING, WHAT THE ONCE IN A LIFETIME CHANCE. So we both impulsed and I bought a really awesome really Harajuku-y black skirt and she bought this cute winter jumper thing. <3

A lot of the time on Friday everyone was just like I CAN’T WAIT FOR DISNEYLAND I CAN’T WAIT FOR DISNEYLAND which is understandable because hello it is Disneyland. Disneyland exceeded expectations. I can’t quite explain how much I love the Disneyland atmosphere it’s just so carefree and happy and I totally want to live there. Or work there or something. Everyone decided that I would be Stitch if I was to work at Disneyland haha. Melissa would sooooo be Jane from Tarzan. Anyways, we met up with Nicole’s Australian (AGAIN) friend called Amber who was just so much fun and bubbly and stuff. I remember when we were waiting in the line for the Thunder Mountain ride (you know that one in Western World with the train that goes super fast that I fell asleep on at Florida Disneyworld OTL) and she basically told us everything that’s happened to her on this exchange– she’s had six host family changes totally not her own fault and stuff. It’s like woaaah. So many PIEE-ers have horror stories to tell, and I’m kinda glad that I have like, the coolest family ever haha. Family on exchange is so important, I’ve finally learnt. My host ma keeps telling me how much she loves me… which is awkward because we’ve only known each other for like three months haha. Anyways, Disneyland… god it was just so much fun. And it was Halloween special which made it even more awesome. Rachel, if you’re reading this, our Disney roadtrip… it’s happening, okay. Seriously– maybe not everywhere but at least to America or Japan… RAAACHHHEELLLLL. So like, the deja vu I got there was really wierd too. Like when we went on Splash Mountain… all the memories of my childhood came like flooding bac. God, I loved Brer Rabbit haha. AND SITTING NEXT TO MARIANA ON THE RIDES WERE AWESOME BECAUSE SHE COULD TRANSLATE LIKE, EVERYTHING FOR ME. Except she didn’t know what crocodile was in Japanese. It’s wani, just for your information. Spelt in katakana. Mariana, if you ever look at this, aren’t I just so educational??

Anyways, I miss Disneyland. Maybe I can convince my host family to take me again >___> I’M WORKING ON IT

On Sunday we visited Akasuka which is like a very big Japanese temple. It was really, really cool. And Melissa, Mariana and me stayed and watched this little parade with a dragon and geisha and stuff. It was so Japan, and I have a video of it and everything but I have no idea how to upload it to this computer. Not cool. Sunday was also the day when we were all meant to go home. WAAAH YOU GUYS I MISS YOU SO BAD. But apparantly a Japanese proverb is that people always meet twice. I really, really hope that’s true. I’m definitely going to see Melissa and Nicole again seeing as they live relatively near me, and Melissa might be staying at my house for a few days~~~~ yaaay. HEY MELISSA YOU FINALLY GET AN ONII-CHAN. WITH A MOTORBIKE.

My host brother has a motorbike.

Sorry, I just thought I’d mention that again.

Sooo, sorry for the lame review of Camp Tokyo II. It was a loooot better than I made it sound, and if you wanna see photos just check out my facebook, www.facebook.com/dwarf.chorus. Da, if you’re reading this, you’re not allowed on my facebook sorry D8< SOOOO WHAT SHOULD I TYPE ABOUT NEXT. I ALREADY DID MY DAY AND EVERYTHING. DAMN, BUT I HAVE NOTHING BETTER TO DO THAN TO FINALLY UPDATE THIS BLOG (studying japanese does not count stfu).

OH YEAH. I’ll talk about my adventures at the hot air balloon festival! Like always, the Kashima festival boffs were called up for another mission of greatness– to sell hot potatoes at the hot air balloon festival (and masks, but no one cares about the masks because for once I wasn’t working at that stall). Anyways, Tuesday was a national holiday for Japan except not for me because I spent the whole day making potatoes and selling them. But it was fun. I hung with my host cuz Rumi who is like the little sister I never had. I discovered that my school is like the ‘good’ school of Kashima where all the clever people go and that Kensuke’s school is where all the dumb people are. This made me laugh. Sorry Ken. <333 YOU’RE NOT STUPID JUST SPECIAL. Speaking of Ken, he actually never goes to school. He’s such a freaking lazy delinquent. But it’s cool. My fam says that I can skive school whenever I want… dude, this is the best family ever. I’M ALLOWED TO SKIVE SCHOOL. Not that I’m going to because unlike my Japanese siblings I find school extremely enjoyable. Mainly because I have kyuudo. Kyuudo. I’m still not over kyuudo. It is the best thing about Japan except One Piece Eiichiro Oda ditch your wife and marry me please of course I’d say yes.

Anyways, the balloon festival was really cool. The funny thing about Japan is that it feels almost video-gamish at times. Because music changes constantly. Like, I’ll walk into a convenience store and there will be this sort of bouncy music and then I’ll go back to the festival and it will be a different wordless music that sounds like a freaking midi and I’ll just randomly walk down the street and ANOTHER TYPE OF MUSIC WILL PLAY. I’m waiting for someone to come along with their own background music. Anyways, the hot air balloons were awesome– I could sit and watch them for ages. There was an elephant shaped one, a Doraemon shaped one and A PIRATE SHAPED ONE. Dude, how cool. Then at night there was fireworks and the balloons put on a show– they would like, time their flames so that the balloon would light up and it was like a huge helium disco and my host grandparents let me skip work to watch for a while (I also watched some awesome motorbike stunts and played with a puppy bawww).

By the way, I was also working on Halloween. Halloween was such a disappointment– I freaking love that holiday and Japan doesn’t even celebrate it properly. I had my own mini Halloween party with a lot of Calpis water at midnight watching Umineko. Which was really scary at night. OOOOOHH, KIKI STOP BEING SUCH A NERDDD. Being a geek is wonderful and people should try it more often instead of condemning it to the bottomless pits of social outcastery~

Today I think I turned a little bit Japanese. Like, I actually folded the toilet paper. I folded the toilet paper. Into a little triangle. What is happening to me.

Despite this, I am still constantly called a yankee. It’s not my fault my classmates don’t have guts and I do. D8< YANKEE JANAII YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

 

peace out y’all <3 I love ya love ya love ya

Okay, instead of writing this blog today like I planned, instead I spent like, an hour and a half searching through a SHITLOAD of Korean music to find this one song I’ve been hearing everywhere here (at school, in supermarkets, people randomly singing I MEAN EVERYWHERE GUYS SERIOUSLY) and the only clues I had where that it was Korean. Despite my painful search, I couldn’t find it at all, and was determined to get the name of it before I started writing this and then FINALLY I gave up and was all like okay, let’s watch One Piece without subs to see how much your Japanese has improved. Soooo, I click on a random episode and then SUDDENLY THE SONG APPEARS.

DUDE NO WONDER IT WAS EVERYWHERE IF IT WAS A FREAKING ONE PIECE OPENING DSAGDFGSFDS, but wow, what a coincidence. Unfortunately, I realised that now that I’ve found the song, I really have no choice but to write this blog. Also, if you are wondering, it’s called Share the World and it’s by Korean band DBSK. THERE. YOU LEARN THAT IN SECONDS. IT TOOK ME AN HOUR AND A HALF OF FRUITLESS SEARCHING.

Okay, waaaaay too much has happened, so today I’m just going describe my average day. I’ve been up to loads, but to write it all down would take forever and I still have a bunch of e-mails to reply to. So, without further ado, I am going to tell you my daily routine. 8D It should be interesting and if it isn’t feel free to click that little red x– IT’S NOT LIKE I WILL KNOW, RIGHT.

Usually my day begins at half six in the morning. Actually, it usually begins at six because the whole of Kashima is woken up at this time BY SOME SORT OF SINGING ALARM. EVERY DAY. AT SIX AM. THE WHOLE. OF. KASHIMA. WHO THE HELL DECIDED THIS. I MEAN, WTF. WHAT HAPPENED TO LIE INS. WHAT ABOUT THE CHILDREN AND ELDERLY PEOPLE AND– okay, it is a great injustice but recently I’ve been so tired that I just sleep through it, hahaha… ha. Anyways, I usually have a shower every morning, which then results in a huge rush to get to school on time. I shove on my uniform, straighten my hair, eat breakfast (which is usually two bowls of cereal– I’ve gone through like, the whole of Kashima’s supply of cereal basically) and then sort of throw myself out of the house and onto my maroon bike. Yes, it’s maroon. It kills the Hibee inside whenever I ride it. Not only that, it is also the personification of death on wheels. Its goal in life is to kill me, and it makes an attempt at my life everyday, usually by refusing to break when I’m hurtling down a hill which leads straight onto a road.

Because I usually arrive at school when the bell rings, the lack of places to park my bike becomes immediately apparant. Most people cycle to school here (dude I remember when it was only Leuty and me cycling to school– THE GOOD TIMES) so basically most of the grounds is made up of bikes. The rest is for a large lake, several ruins and a couple of buildings. My school, Kashima Highschool is actually part-castle. It’s built on the ruins of Kashima castle, so it looks kinda old and very Japanese-y. The thing was, I kept wondering where Kashima castle was and I was all like DUDE I CAN’T SEE IT ANYWHERE DOES IT EVEN EXIST and then my friend just one day dropped into the convo that the school was built on the castle and I was just: SO ALL THIS TIME I’VE BEEN IN THE FRICKING CASTLE? WHAAAAT. What a letdown, seriously.

As soon as I walk into my homeroom class (2-2, by the way, my Persona senses are tingling) I am suddenly greeted by a whole wave of “OHAYO KI-CHAN/BIK-CHAN/ATUKINUSON” (the latter is usually shouted by my friend ayaka YAMAGUCHI) and then I have to make my way through a wave of chairs and tables to get to my seat. The seating plan was recently changed so now my desk is right in The Boy Corner. The Boy Corner is, pretty much, the corner where the boys in my class spend most of their time. It is littered with their sports bags, and their jackets, and their aftershave, and their hair wax, and their playing cards, and the pornographic comic books and I’m just sitting in the middle of it all going WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY. On the subject of Japanese schoolboys, their uniform is really hot. Seriously. It’s like this:

except it looks better in real life

My first encounter of this was when I was just wheeling my bike to a suitable parking place and suddenly someone taps my shoulder and I turn around and am face to face with KYUUDO GUY WITH SEXY ARMS. Wearing the cool uniform. It was the best first encounter ever. Anyways, he was apparantly saying ohayo to me and because he’s my kyuudo senpai I should have been all like ohayo gozaimasu back but stfu I had my headphones in.

I have waaaay to many blanks in my schedule, so the majority of my time is spent self-studying in the library. Because of this I am now great friends with the library folk. The librarian and I have constant chat (she helps my Japanese sooo much I love her) and this other guy whose job I have no idea of always seems to buy me stuff. Like, he goes out for a while and then comes back with like cakes which he gives to me. Which is nice and all but usually I’m all like HOLY SHIT ARIGATOU UM THIS IS KIND OF AWKWARD. But who cares it’s free food and even though you’re not allowed to eat in the library the librarian lets me. Being a foreign exchange student is all kinds of awesome, you would not BELIEVE. Anyways, most of the time I sleep in the library. When I’m not sleeping, I ponder my existence. Then I ponder over everyone else’s existence. Then I study Japanese. Maybe. Probably not.

Lunch is the highlight of my school day (Kyuudo doesn’t count guys fo sho). This is because by lunch I am all kinds of starving and am ready to eat small Japanese children. My host mother makes the best bento (boxed lunch) ever. Don’t even try to compete. YOU WILL LOSE. Save yourself the embarrassment, guys. She also makes kickass onigiris. By the time I’ve finished lunch, I’m usually hungrier than I was, which kind of blows but I’ve gotten used to it. Anyways, at lunch I sit with a group of girls which consists of Ayaka, Natsumi, Rei, Yui, Sayaka, Kaori, and two girls I have no idea the name of, which is wierd, because I talk to them loads. I am hoping that one day someone will just SAY THEIR NAME and then I won’t have to be all awkward when they go “KIKI! OSUKARE!” and I’m just like… “yeah… osukare sama… person… girl… SOB SOB”. After lunch we usually brush our teeth which turns into a battle for dignity. After all, it is extremely hard to talk with a mouth full of saliva and toothpaste. I have already gotten over the worst of it when I gave Natsumi a picture she asked me draw and she was like in Japanese “THIS IS MY TREASURE, I’M GOING TO KEEP IT FOREVER” and I was so touched I forgot all about the state of my mouth and tried to say arigatou only it came out as “FUCK TOOTHPASTE EW EW EW I NEED TO CLEAN MY SHIRT”.

My life now revolves around kyuudo. Before I decide to do anything I first contemplate whether it will affect kyuudo in any way, shape, or form. If it doesn’t, I can do it. If it does (such as sacrificing my Saturday mornings) my usual response is SORRY GUYS I HAVE KYUUDO AND I MUST COMPLETE MY SAMURAI TRAINING. My kyuudo club is like one big family, seriously. We have our daddy, who is the Captain, whose name I don’t know but hey, Captain is good enough. Captain is the biggest father figure ever. He reprimands any late-comers and bellows orders and treats us all as his children. His eye is ALWAYS OPEN. HE SEES EVERYTHING. And he’s always correcting people and generally being a good captain and everyone follows his orders because he is the man of the house, bitch. His girlfriend is by default the mother-figure of our little family. Even though I would call this chick one of my best mates here, I still don’t know her name. It’s becoming worse each day trying to avoid saying her name… or well, not saying her name. Anyways, she isn’t so much the mother-figure as Captain’s mischivious fiance that he picked up somewhere suspicious. Still, she’s awesome and I lovessss her. I am the baby of the family for obvious reasons. I’m usually pretty much left to learn by immersion and occasionally fussed over and kawaii’d at. The rest of our female members are like my older sisters, two of them, the female vice-vice-captains our loving elders who spread their wisdom across the young’uns of our club. Ojii-chan, so called because despite only being seventeen he walks like he needs a walking stick and complains about everything, is our actual vice-captain and fills the role of the “WHEN I WAS YOUR AGE WE DIDN’T USE GOMIKYUUS AND WE DIDN’T HAVE FANCY LIGHT YUMI AND YATTORI WAS DONE PROPERLY WITH NO GIGGLING AND THE CLUB ROOM BELONGED TO THE MEN” old geezer perfectly. Neko-chan remains our pet and our prime mosquito killer. Neko-chan, you are a star.

And wow I can’t believe I just made such a huge metaphor with my kyuudo club.

My real family continue to be awesome. I am the laziest exchange student ever. I actually don’t have chores. Even though I ask to help like, twenty four seven and oh my god it’s nearly twenty to eleven at night already and I still have tonnes of e-mails to reply to dsadhgfsgadfgsafdsgfdgsf anyways, the only thing I have to really say about my host family is that my okaasan won’t stop trying to touch my ass. SERIOUSLY. She is always touching my ass and it is starting to get creepy. Anyone who knows me knows that my lower body is extreeemely sensitive and you need a license to touch my butt and KAWAZU YUMI DOES NOT HAVE IT. Fortunately I have now developed the sixth sense from evolution and can now sense whenever that hand is creeping towards the danger zone and have perfected the art of dancing out of the way before disaster strikes.

I have now reached a higher social link level with my host sister. My host sister and I actually talked today. And we both smiled all the way through our little chat– it was like we were both waiting for this moment and when I finally decided that enough was enough and actually talked it felt like our little barrier had disappeared. Now I just have to wait until she feels ready to take a mortal blow for me in battle, or help a comrade up or… okay I’ll stop being a nerd and referencing Persona.

But it has been raining non-stop recently (because there is a typhoon hitting Japan hurhurhur no joke) AND ANYONE WHO’S ANYONE (AKA ANYONE WHO LIKES JRPGS AS MUCH AS I DO) KNOWS WHAT THAT MEANS. I’M CHECKING THE TV GUYS.

Peace out. I miss you guys so much and your awesome parties without me. D: YOU BETTER THROW ME A BIG ONE WHEN I GET BACK!

Okay I don’t care if I’m meant to be immersing myself in a different culture and stuffs you want a blog update right? SO A BLOG UPDATE YOU SHALL RECIEVE. BOY, I LOVE MAJORITIES.

First things first, you wanna e-mail me, you e-mail me at v.a.atkinson@live.co.uk. I mean, you can e-mail me at backseat_fairytales@hotmail.co.uk but I won’t look at it and you won’t get a reply but hey, I understand, it’s the thought that counts.

For those of you who are interested (namely Isla) Kyuudo is some old Japanese martial art involving bows and arrows. But it so isn’t archery. And then you use these bows and arrows to shoot a target. BUT I’M TELLING YOU IT ISN’T ARCHERY. And the aim is, obviously, to hit the target. Okay, maybe it is archery. But it’s super-samurai archery so it’s totally cooler.

NOW ONTO MY LIFE IN JAPANLAND.

Riiiight, first things first, last week started rather interestingly with a small little gathering of Japanese teenage boys in my house. With alcohol. Japanese teenage boys with alcohol. You can do the mathematics, geniuses. It was kind of alarming. I was in a veeerryyyy pissed mood that day for reasons I don’t even know but yeah they were all like “COME JOIN USSSS” and I was like OH MY GOD OVER YOUR DEAD BODIES LEAVE ME AND THE COMPUTER IN PEACE and all night I could hear their crazy antics and in the morning I felt like laughing because every single one of them looked like zombies. Hurhurhur. Anyways, after that it was time to watch saaaakkkaaaaaa which is the Japanese word for football and it was pretty cool kind of maybe not really. Japanese football is way more tame than Scottish football. As in–

Scottish football fan: YA SOD WHO THE FUCK SIGNED YA YA PANSY-LICKING BASTARD GET THE BALL GET THE BALL AAAHHH MAKALAMBAY YER USELESS SHIT BUGGER BASTARD DCGSAFVGDSGFH

Japanese football fan: …. …. ….

No joke. It’s not just because I don’t understand anything. Maybe it was because it was like, just a tiny second division game but whatever I was like: CRY CRY HOW AM I MEANT TO LEARN JAPANESE SWEAR WORDS WHEN NO ONE RAGES AT FOOTBALL GAMES :’( Anyways, my team, Sagan Tosu, won. Maybe that was why no one was raging? The other team scored an own goal it was hilarious the guy’s face was so ‘oh shit’ and I probably would have laughed but all the Japanese peeps around me were just sitting with stony faces so I was like… hmmmm MAYBE NOT.

I also went fishing for squid with the festival guys. I was just happily wathing my host-brother own everyone at fishing when suddenly Senpai was all like “HEY PASS” in English and I swear the fishing net would have fell into the water and been lost forever in the Kashima sea had I not made the best catch in the history of really bad catches but whatever what resulted in that was that I was subject to fishing. I fished for three hours. And caught one squid. I’m blaming my failure on my host brother taking them all that greedy boy. Anyways, I felt kind of bad for the squids because when they were caught they made these really pathetic squirting sounds. Plus Senpai was such a bitch and kept some in the net and was all like “COME SAVE YOUR NAKAMAAAA” I felt like crying. That was probably due the fact that I was fearing I would have to eat these squid as well. Oh god.

I’m trying to think of exciting things that have happened but life here is so normal now that I’m just like yeaaaaah no. I love my classmates more and more each day. I think my besties so far are my kyuudo buddies. There’s Ayumi-chan, Kana-chan and Haruno and people I don’t even know the names of but have total funsies with. My kyuudo club loves One Piece. I TOTALLY JOINED THE RIGHT CLUB GUYS. We talk One Piece in the changing rooms and everything. Plus, the boys in Kyuudo are actually SANE? There’s Ken-chan, which is kinda confusing seeing as my bro is also Ken-chan, and then there’s guy-with-sexy-arms and Machoman and Neko-chan. Neko-chan looks like a cat, hence his name. Seriously, I’ve never seen a guy look so much like a cat before. It’s scary. I keep trying to make him go “NYA NYA” which is the sound cats make in Japanese (dogs go “WAN WAN”) but he refuses. Then a few days ago he got four hits in a row for the first time so I upgraded his nickname to Tora-chan. Tora is the Japanese word for tiger LOL. He was just like *FACEPALM*.

In my class I generally hang around with the shodo geniuses. Shodo is pretty much calligraphy. And there’s also Natsumi the mikan farmer and Sayaka who doesn’t look Japanese at all. She looks western. Seriously. Anyways, I had my first shodo lesson yesterday with Yui-chan and our class is sooo tiny. She used to be the only girl until I joined the class, so maybe she’s pleased? Anyway, there’s this guy in shodo who I have no idea the name of. I nicknamed him Jumpy because he doesn’t walk like normal people. He jumps over chairs and desks to get to his destination. And he can’t sit still. Anyways, he and Yui are made for each other I SWEAR. WHY ARE THEY NOT TOGETHER. GET TOGETHER OH MY GOD. By the end of the year, he better ask her out. >:[

Soooo I kind of don’t know what to talk about so I’m just saying everything that comes to my head. Ummmm. UMMM. Oh yeah, my house has like, everything assigned to me. Like I have my own cup, and my own chopsticks and my own chair and it’s just like woaaah. My chopsticks are orange. And my cup is like Ultraman Brothers or something what the hell is that but whatever I’m fond of it. It’s cute. And my chair has like a Miss Bunny mat on it. What is Miss Bunny, you ask? She’s some character from Bambi that Japan has milked for all it’s worth. Was there a female rabbit in Bambi? I DIDN’T THINK SO. THAT’S JAPAN FOR YA.

I love this song, by the way. We were going to dance to it in P.E but instead me and Ayumi who’s in my dance team were like GUYS HILARY DUFF so now we’re dancing to Hilary Duff. HEEEELLL YEAAAAH! Shut up, Hilary is awesome and you know it.

Sooo, I’m kinda getting annoyed with my family just a little bit. Well, more my host sister. She’s so cold towards me it makes me wonder what I’ve done wrong. I think I’m starting to like my host bro a lot more now. It’s like my sis can’t even be bothered to talk to me, or like she’s on a higher pedestal or something or that’s what it feels like. Like, the other day we left the house at exactly the same time and while I was getting my bike out of the garage she just cycled off even though we were going to the same place. And I was all like MAAAN WHAT HAVE I DONE WRONG I seriously have no idea. I give her her space, I let her use my hair straighteners, I do what she asks IS THERE SOMETHING I’M MISSING OTL OTL. Whereas my host bro is awesome we discuss the coolness of football/baseball and watch this creepy anime show together and walk the dog and stuff. My host ma and da are cool too and really help with my Japanese whereas my sis is just like: BLAAAAAAAAAANK.

Siiiiigh. If any other exchangers read this, know how to get in my sis’s goodbooks? It’s kiiiilllliiinggg me inside.

Oh, fyi, the Pokemon remakes come out in Japan soon. Anyone who cares BE JEALOUS. BE VERRRYYYYY JEALOUS.

Peace ouuuttt!

So um, wow guys, I’m updating quickly, right? Not much has happened really, but I figured seeing as I now have hold of the family’s laptop, hostage, in my own bedroom ALONE (oh dude this is so not what you think oh my god get those dirty thoughts from your head) I might as well update. Remember to comment and tell me everything that is happening in Scotland, or if you’re another Japan exchanger link me to your blog, damnit!

Soooo, this week was my first week of actual school with actual lessons. USO. I lie. ‘Actual lessons’ for me include… art, home ec, P.E and… yeah. That’s it. I’m meant to do Japanese and Social Studies but yeah, cba. The gaijin factor has died down, but luckily I made the most of it to remain friends with my classmates and not be the social retard in the corner. I think the trick to making friends is be as crazy as possible– I think everything that comes out of my mouth in broken Japanese is hilarious because it’s so bad. Oh well, I’ll learn, right (BUT THEN I WON’T BE FUNNY ANYMORE DAMNIT)?

Soooo, I’m still having fun. My classmates seem so used to be now that they don’t even ask before touching my hair. I have earned two nicknames in Japan– ‘inu’ which means dog, because my hair is so soft; and ‘yankee’. The last one is kinda hard to explain. Yankee in Britain means an American, but in Japan a yankee is like… a highschool delinquent. I don’t really know because I couldn’t really understand my friends’ Japanese and am only going by the fact that my mate Yui-chan grabbed my collar and pushed me against the wall of the gym and screamed in my face “I AM YANKEE”. Yeaaaaah, that was kinda scary. Anyways, being an exchange student means I can break rules as much as I want. Tie my hair up? PFFFFTT no. Don’t listen to music in class? YEAH NOT HAPPENING. I skip social studies class… every time… Change out of your PE stuff before leaving the school. NO. My hair is also red, I wear bracelets and necklaces which en’t allowed and I’m always spewing out ‘OSU OSU’ instead of… well… konnichiwa? I swear I’ll start using ‘ore’ instead of ‘watashi’ soon. Guys I cba explaining that. Anyways, I was quite unaware that my hair was like a dog and that I was breaking so many school rules so when I get called inu or yankee I’m just like ‘yeah what no’. Still, it beats being called gaijin… or baka.

My Japanese is super improving. Like, I can actually get some things now. We were supposed to be writing haikus and the guy who sits near me, Nodomi was all like “I AM HAIKU GENIUS”. Me, not being a haiku genius, was inclined to believe him, and despite my neighbour’s “USO” (lies!) I told him to write mine. What he wrote was “Nihon kita; Tonari no Eguchi; Urusai na”. It wasn’t even funny, but I hadn’t laughed in so long that I actually had a laughing coma basically. Eguchi sits next to me. She’s loud but cute and awesome and basically translated the haiku means “I came to Japan; I sit next to Eguchi; That’s annoying” only dude it sounds funnier in Japanese and LOL LOL LOL urusai (loud/noisy) is so the word to describe this Eguchi chick.

There’s this lovely girl in my class called Ayaka. She’s so awesome. We share a love of break (pan) and baseball (yakyuu)– yes, I am now ADDICTED to baseball in a way some people are addicted to crack cocaine. Anyways, we fangirl about the two things to an unhealthy level. Every day we lament about the fact that we can’t by pan because it’ll make us buuta (pigs), and every day we discuss just how awesome the SoftBank Hawks are, and how KAKKOI (cool, handsome) this player named Wada is. Generally, I don’t find Japanese guys very attractive but Wada isn’t attractive… he’s kakkoi.

SOOOO on Sunday I’m going to ditch kyuudo (I KNOW RIGHT BUT I LOVE KYUUDO) to watch a football game (YEAH BUT I LOVE FOOTBALL MORE). Sagan Tosu. They’re pink and blue. Pfft. Trust the Japanese to make one of their fitba colours PINK AND BLUE. SERIOUSLY. Anyways, it’ll be fun (I hope) and I’m soooo buying pan. Bread in Japan is… strange. Like, you can get ‘appetiser break’ ‘main meal bread’ and ‘dessert bread’. So basically you could have a whole meal made of bread. I vow to try this one day.

Hmmm, what else to say… ‘kuma’ which means bear used to be my favourite japanese word but now it’s KAIZOKUUUUU. A kaizoku is a pirate. And I love pirates. So it fits. In P.E I’m friends with this girl called Arisa and we were discussing everything we like and I was like OMG PIRATES and she was like OMG NO WAY KAIZOKU and it was pretty damn awesome. By the way, P.E was such a disappointment– we had the choice to do either Judo, Kendo or… Dance. I was desperate to do either Judo or Kendo but after discovering that EVERY girl was doing dance I was like… FOILED AGAIN. I mean, I could have done judo or kendo but… with a bunch of boys? Yeaaaaaaah, no. So now I’m doing dance. And I taught everyone Scottish country dancing. Now they can do the gay gordons! Yatta.

Urkkkk, I’m sure there are more things I want to say but right now I really have no idea. Oh, mosquitoes suck. So does the fact I leave school at 7.30pm every day but kyuudo is sooooooooo worth it. Guys, kyuudo man. How did I live without kyuudo. Kyuudo kyuudo kyuudo. I’m going to kyuudo practice tomorrow. There’s no school… but there’s kyuudo practice. Why am I doing this??

BECAUSE I AM IN LOVE WITH KYUUDO. KYUUDO, LET’S GET MARRIED.

TOO MUCH COCA COLA SORRY GUYS.

UM PEACE OUT.

Oh boy, Japanese cheerleading is so schmental.

I have to admit I am a pretty bad blogger, seeing as I really can’t be assed writing this (this week has been so hectic YOU WOULD NOT BELIEVE) but here I am, writing for the greater good. Um, if you read this shit, can you please comment (DUDE ESPECIALLY IF I KNOW YOU REALLY WELL AND YOU HAVEN’T JUST STUMBLED UPON THIS BLOG BUT HEY STUMBLERS SHOULD COMMENT TOO) because then I know people are actually interested in what’s going on here hahahaha… ha… ha.

SOOOOOOO I started school this week, which was as tiring as FUCK. This was because instead of lessons and studying and shit, we spent a whole week practicing for what is a very important sports day. In Japan, sports day needs a whole week of the whole school preparing. Anyways, like most Japan exchangers I was subject to the gaijin factor. Being the only foreigner in the entire school (a part from Andy-sensei but he totally does not count) I am something of a celebrity. People approach me and are like “DO YOU KNOW MY NAME?” and I’m just all… “I’VE NEVER SEEN YOU BEFORE IN MY LIFE SOB SOB”. The pressure guys, it kills. Anyways, not only am I a gaijin, I’m a stupid gaijin, so this makes me even more entertaining to the Japanese. Well, at least I’m doing okay in the friend department because everyone thinks I’m batshit insane. I have chicks to eat lunch with, and people to talk to and I think I’m doing well but maybe this is just the honeymoon period which will probably go away tomorrow when I go to school again. Waaaah.

So. Undokai, the major Japanese sports day. There are three teams– Sekigun, Shigun and Hakugun. My team was Hakugun, and we were totally the coolest. Most Japanese exchangers will know due to the name that the team was white but FOR THOSE OF YOU WHO AREN’T COOL ENOUGH… my team was white. We wore white baseball caps and everything. Anyways, we spent a week practicing our little cheerleading stint, which was hilarious and also this super cool thing that I don’t know the name of. It was like those typical Asian dances with drums and stuff and lots of punching and kung fu and it looked AWESOME because our senpai are AWESOME and oh my god words cannot explain how absolutely COOL it was. I wish I video’d it but I couldn’t because… well, I was part of it. SOB.

Each second year class (I am in class 2-2 ftw) had to do a wee stageshow thing, and ours sucked. Despite ours sucking, we still came first??? I don’t know how that happened, but who cares we were ICHIBAN. Anyways, that was pretty nerve-wracking (almost as nerve-wracking as the speech I had to give in front of the whole fucking school on Monday but let’s not talk about that) but it was fun watching the other classes UNTIL this one class decided cross-dressing would be funny. Men in womens’ clothing is my one greatest fear so I felt like crying even though it was fucking hilarious. Like, seriously.

This all took place on Saturday which I’m pretty sure was called Bunkasai but ya never know. Nothing much happened then, except watching stage shows and shit and I hung out with my two mates from kyuudo club, Ayumi and Kana. THEY’RE LOVELY. And for those who don’t know, kyuudo is like… archery. In fact, it IS archery only more frustrating because there’s all these different forms and it’s really precise and I just want to shoot some damn arrows already damnit.  But it’s fun and it gives me something to do and on Sunday I am going to kyuudo competition thing to watch and that’ll be AWESOME because if you’ve never watched kyuudo you’re missing out, man, because it is pretty intense.

So, trailing back again, I’ll talk about Friday where I hung out with the Kashima festival boffs. Who are pretty cool, though I can’t for the life of me remember their names. This is why I have fashioned nicknames for all of them. There is Oji– my host uncle; Earring– some quiet guy with one long earring; Baka– this annoying dude who’s pretty dumb and who everyone calls baka anyway; Gorilla– the awesome takoyaki maker; Senpai– everyone calls him Senpai, which makes me wonder if it’s his real name… anyways, he’s the hippest Japanese I’ve met yet; Kuro(black)-chan– thankfully others call HIM that, so I don’t feel as awkward…; Jumpsuit– who’s always wearing a white jumpsuit… seriously; Postman– somehow I remembered his career but not his name; Boygirl– this woman who has reeealllyyy short hair; Shorty– he’s well… short; Delinquent #1– he looks like a stereotypical delinquent; Delinquent #2– he looks like another stereotypical delinquent and finally Scrawny, who is so skinny he looks like he could crack just by walking. There’s more, but I have not yet gotten to know them well enough to give them a nickname. HMMMM. Anyways, me and some peeps were messing about with fireworks on Friday night (fireworks in Japan are waaaay cooler and more interactive than Scottish ones) and then suddenly there’s a ROAAARRRR of bike engines and Delinquent #1 and #2 come along on motorbikes and my friend nearly shot a firework at one of them. Hahaha, priceless comedy.

Okaaaay, so what else to saaaaay… my classmates are awesome, btw! They make me feel really welcome and I think I can become great friends with them. Also, Hakugun lost undokai LOL LOL LOL. And our senpai who had been leading the thing shook of all our hands and the biggest ikemen (popular cool guy in school but I don’t see the appeal…) was crying it was hilarious I was trying not to laugh and my friend was beside me being all like “DON’T LAUGH DON’T LAUGH” but I managed to control myself. Ahurhurhurhur. Anyways, it’s sooooooooo hot here. I’m really sunburnt LOL it like, hurts to walk. And my face is all red and it is sooooo not attractive. Also, my hair always turns curly by the end of school which is frustrating. In kyuudo I have to practice my posture in a mirror and all I can think is “OH SHIT I LOOK AWFUL OH SHIT I LOOK AWFUL” and what’s worse at the end of undokai I was trying to meet my host sister at the bottom of the hill and I ended up being twenty minutes late because every five steps I took someone stopped me and was all like “PHOTO ONEGAISHIMASU” and I had to take like… thirty photographs with people. Now I understand how celebrities feel. And now thirty Japanese people have photographs of me after copius amounts of exercise with curly hair looking pretty frustrated. OH WELL.

by the way, my japanese is improving slowly but steadily… more happened, but I can’t be bothered writing about it hahaha. I’m having a great time, but I really miss you guys– I’ve been craving brawlovers and fish and chips. FISH AND FUCKING CHIPS. I AM SO FUCKING BRITISH LOL.

‘Till next time! PEEEAAACCEEE!

ps. ike ike ike ikeeeee hakugun. woaaah hakugun woaaah hakugun wooooaah hakugun HA-KU-GUN!

Okay guys, long time no talk! For those of you who don’t want to read HUNDREDS AND HUNDREDS of words about everything I’ve been up to in Japan… SCREW YOU. Except, I actually want to still have friends when I come back so I’ll just say I’m having a super duper cool time. Majorly. So, without further ado…

TOKYO FUCKING ORIENTATION MAN. I liked it. At first, when I got off the plane, there were no English speakers so I thought: “oh shit, dude, you’re gunna be here for six days and you’re gunna lose your voice and sulk in your room like a hermit because of your inability to talk to people”. Because, you know, I couldn’t POSSIBLY try communicating with people of other languages even though they could speak a little English. And by a little I mean like… hello. And goodbye. And where is the toilet. Yeah. Anyways, so I just trundled outta the airport, and got to this place called the Olympic Centre, where I became a good exchange student and struck up conversations with some Finnish people who were, without a doubt, the best English-speakers. A part from me, of course.

I also made friends with this totally cute Taiwanese chick called… Chien. I think. Many people were confused by here name– at times she was Chien, at other times she was Chika… or maybe we weren’t hearing her properly. Whatever. She was cool, even though her English was bad and her Japanese was awesome and my Japanese was bad but my English was awesome so our conversations were kind of like a crossbreed of the two languages and rarely ever made sense.

Day after I arrived was a planned tour of TOKYO. When I say tour, I mean a shopping trip. The only place of great importance we visited was Harajuku– and by ‘we’ I mean, me, Chien/Chika and three Australians. YES, ENGLISH SPEAKERS. I WAS SO HAPPY. Anyways, Harajuku was really cool. I was expecting lots and lots of crazily dressed people but in reality, there were like none. But oh well. It was really fun, and the fashion there was WOAAAAH. Yeah, I can’t quite describe it in legible English. We took purikura there, which is like sticker-type photographs that you take in a booth and even if you’re as white as a KKK member you still turn out looking extremely Asian. I say it’s magic. Having been an idiot and left my pride and joy little baby (aka, my hair straighteners) in my other suitcase that was sent off to Kashima, I had to buy a new pair, which really wasn’t worth it because they didn’t work on my hair at all. Which figures, seeing as they’re designed for Japanese, and not Scottish. We ate ramen, which was a first for me, and lemme tell ya JAPANESE FOOD IS AWESOME. I never would have believed it, and maybe I only think so because I have no choice to eat it but yeah, people should come to Japan just for the food. I hope I don’t get fat. After our ramen trip I took a monorail for the first time to this huge shopping centre where nothing of great importance happened. EXCEPT. We visited a JUMP store. JUMP is a comic book publisher thingy (I don’t even know) and the store sold lotsa cool stuff that I didn’t buy. Jenny, if you’re reading this, I know you are probably very disappointed by this, and I swear if I ever find another one I will buy you something from it (and risk looking like a huge nerd in the process DUDE THAT’S WHAT I’LL DO FOR YA MATE). By the way, it’s really hot in Japan, but somehow I don’t seem to be too affected. Straaaange.

So the ‘tour’ of Tokyo was pretty damn cool, and I made new friends with those cool Ozzies– Bec, Ada and Poppy. By writing Poppy’s name in this blog, this blog has become five per cent more dumb. Sorry, Poppy. OH SHIT ANOTHER FIVE PER CENT. Um.

The next five days we were meant to have ‘Japanese lessons’. I didn’t learn anything from them and spent the majority of the time laughing at Poppy (another five per cent) and her inability to speak the language. I made more friends, namely the half-italian half-japanese YAKUZA/MAFIA ONLY NOT REALLY dude named Isato, some Finnish kid who never talked called called Lauri and a gay German guy. T’was fun. I also made enemies without wanting to just because I was hanging out with the Australians– yeah, I’m blaming it on the Australians. These were the French people, the men of which we gave nicknames– Princess and Gaylord. Ahurhurhurhur. I actually had nothing against them,　and in the end at the airport away from Tokyo, I actually ended up liking Princess. He was nice, guys, SERIOUSLY.

I feel like I’m spending waaaaaaaaay too long on the computer right now, so I’m too long on the computer right now, so I’m gunna go on to talk about my host family, who are really, really sweet. My sister, Mika, is really nice and her English makes up for my shitty Japanese.  Yumi-san, my mother, is ADORA-FUCKING-BLE. She’s like a mother, is ADORA-FUCKING-BLE. She’s like a Japanese Mrs. Weasley. My brother, from what I ever see of him, is pretty cool. And my host father is also lovely, and he’s just finished putting a shelf together for me… yeah, while I sit here on his computer. Um. Oops.

On my first day, we went to a festival at night, where I met who I think of as a night, where I met who I think of as a little host sister called Rumi-chan. She’s adorable. Nothing much happened at the festival except some pretty fireworks and tonnes of people going up to me and being all like “OROOOO RYUGAKUSEI???????” which was kind of daunting. I’m actually having trouble remembering everything I’ve been doing. I met some other dude called Tan-chan or something. It’s wierd because the suffix Tan-chan or something. It’s wierd because the suffix ‘kun’ doesn’t seem to exist here and instead all the guys I meet are chans. Not that it really affects me in any way, it’s just kinda odd.

The day before yesterday I went to a safari park somewhere near Fukuoka with Rumi and her family. There was her sister, Ayano, who’s hilarious, some kid named Hana-chan who… I don’t know whose kid she is, but I like her. Then Rumi’s brother who I have never even heard the name of and some guy named Daisuke (I have met so many Daisuke’s that it’s not even funny any more)． The coolest part of the safari was DEFINITELY feeding the animals. I fed bears, lions, eagles, giraffes, bison and deer. I also learned new words there, generally ‘kintama’ seeing as boys being boys were quick to note how big the animals’ kintama were. Yeaaaaaaaaaah. I also held a baby lion. GUYS I HELD A FUCKING BABY LION. JAPANESE SAFARI PARKS ROCK. I also fed some sort of raccoon thing. Idk.

I also visited my school because I had to practice some dance thing. No one would explain to me why exactly we were dancing, and I failed miserably. Well, actually. I sort of fit in BECAUSE everyone else was failing miserably too. I met some of my classmates there, who were hilarious and cute and I like how in Japan if you’re foreign people automatically think you’re funny. I wasn’t there for very long, but I hope when I return to ACTUALLY go to school (which is on Monday), they’ll still like me. Oh, by the way, the subjects I’m taking are art, home ec, p.e, shodo (calligraphy), japanese, english and I can’t remember what else. I wasn’t really listening.

I thought the super cool safari park (added with arcade games, more purikura and sushi) would be the highlight of this week but more was in store for the Atkinson with a loooong drive to some city. No one would tell me what the city was. It seemed obsessed with football (sakaa in Japanese). There were signs everywhere all about football and even the street lamps were painted to look like footballs. Well, that’s Japan for ya. Anyways, it was yet again another festival, in which I was now an honourary beer seller.　Yep. I became something of a barmaid which surely SHOULD have been illegal but I got away with it. I also helped make takoyaki before sitting down at trying to attract customers to the yakosoba/beer stall with my lack of gaijin charms. I had a lot of people being all “NICE TO MEET YOU” in crazy Japanese accents in which I replied that I was german, and thus could not understand English. Hurhurhurhur.

I don’t know how much money my beer-selling made, but I hope it was a lot. I figure I ate about a hundred was a lot. I figure I ate about a hundred ice cubes that night, waiting for people to buy beer for four hundred yen, ＷＨＩＣＨ was ridiculously expensive but this is matsuri for you YOU HAVE TO CASH UP MAN.　Anyways, the festival was really, really fun and now I don’t have anything  interesting to say. Loads more happened, but I can’t be bothered writing about it． ‘TILL NEXT TIME, GUYS!!

I had my last Japanese lesson last week, which was kind of saddening, because I really liked my teacher. I guess she liked me too because she got me a present– a Japanese dictionary. AND IT’S REALLY, REALLY COOL. I mean, it’s just a book, not one of those hip electric things you get nowadays, but I have some major fun. You know the kind of fun you had when you were twelve in German class when your maturity levels were sickeningly low. Unfortunately for me, my Japanese dictionary is veeerrryyy basic, and it decides for you that you don’t need the word for female genetalia or homosexual. Drats, foiled again.

Speaking of my last Japanese lesson, I’m kind of… scared. I mean, my Japanese skills are pretty bad. In fact, the only thing I can say without sounding like someone’s died is GANBARIMASU!!!, but you can’t say that word without it being extremely gung-ho anyways. I’ve heard of cases when some kids go to Japan not even knowing something like konnichiwa, but I don’t want to be one of these kids. I actually want to… well, communicate with people. And it’s really stupid too– I know some of the most useless words, but I don’t even know how to say stupid, or wierd, or hahaha. Unless hahaha is universal, and I’m just stressing for nothing. SIIIIGGGHHH.

Anyways, preparation for exchange is going very smoothly. I’ve decided I need to buy a new iPod before I go, just in case my three-year-old one decides to crap out as soon as I hit Tokyo. I want to buy one those hip ones that can play movies, just because… it can play movies. I also need to buy at least three sketchbooks, because I don’t trust Japan to provide me with sketchbooks I like, and I need new clothes, because right now I’m sitting in trackies and a T-shirt and the fashionista in the back of my mind is trying to shoot herself in the mouth while a lot of Japanese people laugh at her. OUCHH.

I’ve also found a love for the word groovy. Why don’t more people use this word IT’S AMAZING. I tried to work out what it would be in katakana or Japanese or whatever and I came up with GURUBIIII but somehow it just doesn’t have the same awesome effect. OH WELL. In the meantime, this blog post is pointless, and essentially, I was just killing time before I inevitably had to get off my ass and go meet some mates up town. Ugh, summer holidays, right? WHAT A DRAG.

‘Till I get bored again– though most likely my next post will be when I do something like um… HMM TOKYO ORIENTATION? Eh, idk. Ja matta!

Every cool exchange student has a blog, right? RIGHT. So, in my glorious attempt at becoming a cool exchange student I made this blog in like… March. Or May. (IF IT’S APRIL I WILL BE TRAGICALLY DISAPPOINTED). The issue with having a blog is that I’m not very good at writing, I’m the biggest procrastinator one shall ever meet and when I do get into the uh… zone, I tend to babble on about irrelevant things, which is kinda like right now. Sorry folks.

Anyways, I just left highschool. I won’t say graduated because, essentially, I didn’t. I’m still only sixteen. I don’t want to say dropped out because then it sounds like I’m sort of delinquent but… yeah. I dropped out. Which is totally okay you know because I’m going to Japan so it’s not so much dropping out as deciding to be a complete moron and go to a country that writes backwards and created things like singing toilets. I think if you’re gunna be an exchange student, you might as well go all the way– I was actually planning on going to China because dude what is all the way if communism isn’t, but that never happened. YFU were filled up in China spots (I WAS SECRETLY HAPPY OTHER PEOPLE WERE THINKING THE SAME THING) and the ASSE person was trying to avoid the subject of going to China as if I might get the plague or attacked by some giant green liza– oh wait that was Japan.

Let’s not discuss how to say ASSE, which is the program I’m going with. I mean, there are some educated people in the world who are all like “EXCHANGE STUDENT? DUDE, WHICH PROGRAM?” and I’m like “DUDE… UM… AY ESS ESS EE.” Because… is that even how you say it? I mean, it can’t be ass that’s just wierd. And my parents call it ass-ie so it can’t be that either. Uh, no offence to my ‘rents or anything.

So, I dropped out of highschool to go to Japan. My name is Viki, but the Japanese are allergic to the letter ‘V’ (I JOKE, I JOKE) so actually, in Japanese my name is ‘Biki’. I kind of wanted to spare myself any kind of bird jokes, or the fact it looks like bikini, so I changed it to Kiki, which essentially saves me from the bird and bikini jokes, but also encourages images of small yappy dogs that reside in Paris Hiltons’ ample handbags. OH WELL. I’m sixteen, and I live in the best country in the world aka Scotland, in its proud and historic capital city. I’ll be taking a turn for the complete and utter different by moving to Kyuushu island, which is the third-largest island on Japan. Kyuushu is home to Saga, which is home to Kashima City which will very soon be home to me. And it looks pretty awesome here:

AIN’T IT CUTE?

I mean, there are better pictures out there but that one just captures how quaint the place looks.  It’s kinda out in the country, but when I picked Japan that’s what I was hoping for. I wasn’t really attracted to Tokyo or Osaka like I hear a lot of other Japan exchangers are. In my mind there I was, cycling down the road passing temples, rice paddies and Totoro. Okay, scrap Totoro.

There’s also a castle in Kashima. CAN ANYONE SAY JAPANESE EDINBURGH CASTLE, ‘CAUSE I CAN. Oooh, Kashima baby, we have so much in common.

Okay so it isn’t as big as Edinburgh castle, but it’s still a castle, right? I can’t wait to draw it! AAAANYYYWAAYSSS, moving on. In Kashima, I’ll be living with a host family– I dunno if I’m allowed to give out names, but I’ll just tell ya the family members. Anyways, the kiddo who contacted me is my host sister called Mika who can speak English (MY EASY-WAY-OUT SENSES ARE TINGLING) because she studied in the USA for a year. I don’t know how old she is, but she’s still in high school soooooo. Apparantly we get to cycle to school together, which’ll be cool. Speaking of school, currently it is a non-existant school… as in, I have no idea which school I’m going to. ASSE, WHY HAVEN’T YOU CONTACTED ME BABY? I mean, they haven’t even told me I have a host family yet… even though I do. Unless this host family is actually my imagination… anyways. I also have a host brother, Kensuke, who’s sixteen like me (except I’ll be seventeen when I’m there) and if we’re all the same age, Mika, Kensuke and me, WE’RE GUNNA HAVE BANTER RIGHT. TEENAGE BANTER. But yeah. My otousan (dad in Japanese) is an architect which is pretty cool because drawing buildings is like, a major hobby of mine, and my okaasan (mother in Japanese) is a housewife, or so I’m told. I CAN’T WAIT TO MEET THEM (IF THEY ACTUALLY EXIST).

So, as for Japan, I have a new found obsession with it. I mean, I’ve always liked Japan, because it’s one of those crazy countries with vending machines that sell school girls’ panties, and it creates tonnes of video games and I’m such a gaming nerd YOU WOULD NOT BELIEVE. But I kinda wasn’t interested enough to learn about it but now you should see me man, I’m on fire. I’M BECOMING A JAPAN EXPERT. ESPECIALLY A SAGA EXPERT. The only thing I’m not becoming an expert on is… the language. I mean, I could get by, albeit very very badly. I’m not a big fan of the language– I’ve always preferred Chinese or Korean, but it’s fun in it’s own quirky way. But d’ya wanna know the best thing about Japan?

KANJI.

I FRICKING LOVE KANJI. I love kanji so much that I would be willing to have little kanji babies with it. Kanji is like, the best thing ever. I can’t quite describe my obsession because… no one understands it. Everyone I’ve talked to is all like EW KANJI and it makes me sad. Kanji is tragically misunderstood. It’s so pretty and awesome and it actually MEANS something. I know more kanji than katakana, which is worrying but I’m beyond caring. Anyways, my okaasan is apparantly interested in calligraphy which means… she’s interested in kanji, right? I HOPE SO. We’ll have kanji chat. We can worship kanji together and have kanji rituals and just wallow in our love for the amazing thing that is kanji (okay probably not but a girl can dream right).  My favourite kanji so far is this one:

omg it’s so pretty

I don’t actually know how to say it, I just found it on this Japanese site. It’s become my life ambition to find out what it means, because I love it so much. I even tried working out my kanji name. Kiki can mean lots of different but I personally like ‘tree spirit’ because I’m pretty sure ‘ki’ can mean spirit or ki and tree spirit is cute, right (I shouldn’t admit this because I WANT THE PIXIE JOKES TO GO AWAY NIKKI). Yes, right. Anyways, I’m not sure how I’d write that. I know the last one would be 木… MAN I MUST WORK THIS OUT CHOTTO MATTE EVERYBODY.

木気  is what I found due to research but I don’t trust the internet so it could be wrong. BUT COME ON THAT LOOKS AWESOME RIGHT. I don’t think Japanese people would appreciate a foreigner using kanji for her name, so I’m gunna have to keep with キキ. It’s okay, I’ll get over it.

Anyways, I’ve rambled on for quite some time, and I guess I’ll make another blog post at some other time. I dunno if this was a good introduction post (ARE YOU KIDDING KIKI IT SUCKED SHUT UP) but I’ve never been good at expressing my thoughts in a coherent fashion. Siiigh. ANYHOW. JA MATTA, AYEEEE.