JOUUUUDAN DA YO!?

Okay I don’t care if I’m meant to be immersing myself in a different culture and stuffs you want a blog update right? SO A BLOG UPDATE YOU SHALL RECIEVE. BOY, I LOVE MAJORITIES.

First things first, you wanna e-mail me, you e-mail me at v.a.atkinson@live.co.uk. I mean, you can e-mail me at backseat_fairytales@hotmail.co.uk but I won’t look at it and you won’t get a reply but hey, I understand, it’s the thought that counts.

For those of you who are interested (namely Isla) Kyuudo is some old Japanese martial art involving bows and arrows. But it so isn’t archery. And then you use these bows and arrows to shoot a target. BUT I’M TELLING YOU IT ISN’T ARCHERY. And the aim is, obviously, to hit the target. Okay, maybe it is archery. But it’s super-samurai archery so it’s totally cooler.

NOW ONTO MY LIFE IN JAPANLAND.

Riiiight, first things first, last week started rather interestingly with a small little gathering of Japanese teenage boys in my house. With alcohol. Japanese teenage boys with alcohol. You can do the mathematics, geniuses. It was kind of alarming. I was in a veeerryyyy pissed mood that day for reasons I don’t even know but yeah they were all like “COME JOIN USSSS” and I was like OH MY GOD OVER YOUR DEAD BODIES LEAVE ME AND THE COMPUTER IN PEACE and all night I could hear their crazy antics and in the morning I felt like laughing because every single one of them looked like zombies. Hurhurhur. Anyways, after that it was time to watch saaaakkkaaaaaa which is the Japanese word for football and it was pretty cool kind of maybe not really. Japanese football is way more tame than Scottish football. As in–

Scottish football fan: YA SOD WHO THE FUCK SIGNED YA YA PANSY-LICKING BASTARD GET THE BALL GET THE BALL AAAHHH MAKALAMBAY YER USELESS SHIT BUGGER BASTARD DCGSAFVGDSGFH

Japanese football fan: …. …. ….

No joke. It’s not just because I don’t understand anything. Maybe it was because it was like, just a tiny second division game but whatever I was like: CRY CRY HOW AM I MEANT TO LEARN JAPANESE SWEAR WORDS WHEN NO ONE RAGES AT FOOTBALL GAMES :’( Anyways, my team, Sagan Tosu, won. Maybe that was why no one was raging? The other team scored an own goal it was hilarious the guy’s face was so ‘oh shit’ and I probably would have laughed but all the Japanese peeps around me were just sitting with stony faces so I was like… hmmmm MAYBE NOT.

I also went fishing for squid with the festival guys. I was just happily wathing my host-brother own everyone at fishing when suddenly Senpai was all like “HEY PASS” in English and I swear the fishing net would have fell into the water and been lost forever in the Kashima sea had I not made the best catch in the history of really bad catches but whatever what resulted in that was that I was subject to fishing. I fished for three hours. And caught one squid. I’m blaming my failure on my host brother taking them all that greedy boy. Anyways, I felt kind of bad for the squids because when they were caught they made these really pathetic squirting sounds. Plus Senpai was such a bitch and kept some in the net and was all like “COME SAVE YOUR NAKAMAAAA” I felt like crying. That was probably due the fact that I was fearing I would have to eat these squid as well. Oh god.

I’m trying to think of exciting things that have happened but life here is so normal now that I’m just like yeaaaaah no. I love my classmates more and more each day. I think my besties so far are my kyuudo buddies. There’s Ayumi-chan, Kana-chan and Haruno and people I don’t even know the names of but have total funsies with. My kyuudo club loves One Piece. I TOTALLY JOINED THE RIGHT CLUB GUYS. We talk One Piece in the changing rooms and everything. Plus, the boys in Kyuudo are actually SANE? There’s Ken-chan, which is kinda confusing seeing as my bro is also Ken-chan, and then there’s guy-with-sexy-arms and Machoman and Neko-chan. Neko-chan looks like a cat, hence his name. Seriously, I’ve never seen a guy look so much like a cat before. It’s scary. I keep trying to make him go “NYA NYA” which is the sound cats make in Japanese (dogs go “WAN WAN”) but he refuses. Then a few days ago he got four hits in a row for the first time so I upgraded his nickname to Tora-chan. Tora is the Japanese word for tiger LOL. He was just like *FACEPALM*.

In my class I generally hang around with the shodo geniuses. Shodo is pretty much calligraphy. And there’s also Natsumi the mikan farmer and Sayaka who doesn’t look Japanese at all. She looks western. Seriously. Anyways, I had my first shodo lesson yesterday with Yui-chan and our class is sooo tiny. She used to be the only girl until I joined the class, so maybe she’s pleased? Anyway, there’s this guy in shodo who I have no idea the name of. I nicknamed him Jumpy because he doesn’t walk like normal people. He jumps over chairs and desks to get to his destination. And he can’t sit still. Anyways, he and Yui are made for each other I SWEAR. WHY ARE THEY NOT TOGETHER. GET TOGETHER OH MY GOD. By the end of the year, he better ask her out. >:[

Soooo I kind of don't know what to talk about so I'm just saying everything that comes to my head. Ummmm. UMMM. Oh yeah, my house has like, everything assigned to me. Like I have my own cup, and my own chopsticks and my own chair and it's just like woaaah. My chopsticks are orange. And my cup is like Ultraman Brothers or something what the hell is that but whatever I'm fond of it. It's cute. And my chair has like a Miss Bunny mat on it. What is Miss Bunny, you ask? She's some character from Bambi that Japan has milked for all it's worth. Was there a female rabbit in Bambi? I DIDN'T THINK SO. THAT'S JAPAN FOR YA.

I love this song, by the way. We were going to dance to it in P.E but instead me and Ayumi who’s in my dance team were like GUYS HILARY DUFF so now we’re dancing to Hilary Duff. HEEEELLL YEAAAAH! Shut up, Hilary is awesome and you know it.

Sooo, I’m kinda getting annoyed with my family just a little bit. Well, more my host sister. She’s so cold towards me it makes me wonder what I’ve done wrong. I think I’m starting to like my host bro a lot more now. It’s like my sis can’t even be bothered to talk to me, or like she’s on a higher pedestal or something or that’s what it feels like. Like, the other day we left the house at exactly the same time and while I was getting my bike out of the garage she just cycled off even though we were going to the same place. And I was all like MAAAN WHAT HAVE I DONE WRONG I seriously have no idea. I give her her space, I let her use my hair straighteners, I do what she asks IS THERE SOMETHING I’M MISSING OTL OTL. Whereas my host bro is awesome we discuss the coolness of football/baseball and watch this creepy anime show together and walk the dog and stuff. My host ma and da are cool too and really help with my Japanese whereas my sis is just like: BLAAAAAAAAAANK.

Siiiiigh. If any other exchangers read this, know how to get in my sis’s goodbooks? It’s kiiiilllliiinggg me inside.

Oh, fyi, the Pokemon remakes come out in Japan soon. Anyone who cares BE JEALOUS. BE VERRRYYYYY JEALOUS.

Peace ouuuttt!

INU JANAI! YANKEE JANAI!

So um, wow guys, I’m updating quickly, right? Not much has happened really, but I figured seeing as I now have hold of the family’s laptop, hostage, in my own bedroom ALONE (oh dude this is so not what you think oh my god get those dirty thoughts from your head) I might as well update. Remember to comment and tell me everything that is happening in Scotland, or if you’re another Japan exchanger link me to your blog, damnit!

Soooo, this week was my first week of actual school with actual lessons. USO. I lie. ‘Actual lessons’ for me include… art, home ec, P.E and… yeah. That’s it. I’m meant to do Japanese and Social Studies but yeah, cba. The gaijin factor has died down, but luckily I made the most of it to remain friends with my classmates and not be the social retard in the corner. I think the trick to making friends is be as crazy as possible– I think everything that comes out of my mouth in broken Japanese is hilarious because it’s so bad. Oh well, I’ll learn, right (BUT THEN I WON’T BE FUNNY ANYMORE DAMNIT)?

Soooo, I’m still having fun. My classmates seem so used to be now that they don’t even ask before touching my hair. I have earned two nicknames in Japan– ‘inu’ which means dog, because my hair is so soft; and ‘yankee’. The last one is kinda hard to explain. Yankee in Britain means an American, but in Japan a yankee is like… a highschool delinquent. I don’t really know because I couldn’t really understand my friends’ Japanese and am only going by the fact that my mate Yui-chan grabbed my collar and pushed me against the wall of the gym and screamed in my face “I AM YANKEE”. Yeaaaaah, that was kinda scary. Anyways, being an exchange student means I can break rules as much as I want. Tie my hair up? PFFFFTT no. Don’t listen to music in class? YEAH NOT HAPPENING. I skip social studies class… every time… Change out of your PE stuff before leaving the school. NO. My hair is also red, I wear bracelets and necklaces which en’t allowed and I’m always spewing out ‘OSU OSU’ instead of… well… konnichiwa? I swear I’ll start using ‘ore’ instead of ‘watashi’ soon. Guys I cba explaining that. Anyways, I was quite unaware that my hair was like a dog and that I was breaking so many school rules so when I get called inu or yankee I’m just like ‘yeah what no’. Still, it beats being called gaijin… or baka.

My Japanese is super improving. Like, I can actually get some things now. We were supposed to be writing haikus and the guy who sits near me, Nodomi was all like “I AM HAIKU GENIUS”. Me, not being a haiku genius, was inclined to believe him, and despite my neighbour’s “USO” (lies!) I told him to write mine. What he wrote was “Nihon kita; Tonari no Eguchi; Urusai na”. It wasn’t even funny, but I hadn’t laughed in so long that I actually had a laughing coma basically. Eguchi sits next to me. She’s loud but cute and awesome and basically translated the haiku means “I came to Japan; I sit next to Eguchi; That’s annoying” only dude it sounds funnier in Japanese and LOL LOL LOL urusai (loud/noisy) is so the word to describe this Eguchi chick.

There’s this lovely girl in my class called Ayaka. She’s so awesome. We share a love of break (pan) and baseball (yakyuu)– yes, I am now ADDICTED to baseball in a way some people are addicted to crack cocaine. Anyways, we fangirl about the two things to an unhealthy level. Every day we lament about the fact that we can’t by pan because it’ll make us buuta (pigs), and every day we discuss just how awesome the SoftBank Hawks are, and how KAKKOI (cool, handsome) this player named Wada is. Generally, I don’t find Japanese guys very attractive but Wada isn’t attractive… he’s kakkoi.

SOOOO on Sunday I’m going to ditch kyuudo (I KNOW RIGHT BUT I LOVE KYUUDO) to watch a football game (YEAH BUT I LOVE FOOTBALL MORE). Sagan Tosu. They’re pink and blue. Pfft. Trust the Japanese to make one of their fitba colours PINK AND BLUE. SERIOUSLY. Anyways, it’ll be fun (I hope) and I’m soooo buying pan. Bread in Japan is… strange. Like, you can get ‘appetiser break’ ‘main meal bread’ and ‘dessert bread’. So basically you could have a whole meal made of bread. I vow to try this one day.

Hmmm, what else to say… ‘kuma’ which means bear used to be my favourite japanese word but now it’s KAIZOKUUUUU. A kaizoku is a pirate. And I love pirates. So it fits. In P.E I’m friends with this girl called Arisa and we were discussing everything we like and I was like OMG PIRATES and she was like OMG NO WAY KAIZOKU and it was pretty damn awesome. By the way, P.E was such a disappointment– we had the choice to do either Judo, Kendo or… Dance. I was desperate to do either Judo or Kendo but after discovering that EVERY girl was doing dance I was like… FOILED AGAIN. I mean, I could have done judo or kendo but… with a bunch of boys? Yeaaaaaaah, no. So now I’m doing dance. And I taught everyone Scottish country dancing. Now they can do the gay gordons! Yatta.

Urkkkk, I’m sure there are more things I want to say but right now I really have no idea. Oh, mosquitoes suck. So does the fact I leave school at 7.30pm every day but kyuudo is sooooooooo worth it. Guys, kyuudo man. How did I live without kyuudo. Kyuudo kyuudo kyuudo. I’m going to kyuudo practice tomorrow. There’s no school… but there’s kyuudo practice. Why am I doing this??

BECAUSE I AM IN LOVE WITH KYUUDO. KYUUDO, LET’S GET MARRIED.

TOO MUCH COCA COLA SORRY GUYS.

UM PEACE OUT.

IKE, IKE, IKE, IKEEEEEE HAKUGUN!

Oh boy, Japanese cheerleading is so schmental.

I have to admit I am a pretty bad blogger, seeing as I really can’t be assed writing this (this week has been so hectic YOU WOULD NOT BELIEVE) but here I am, writing for the greater good. Um, if you read this shit, can you please comment (DUDE ESPECIALLY IF I KNOW YOU REALLY WELL AND YOU HAVEN’T JUST STUMBLED UPON THIS BLOG BUT HEY STUMBLERS SHOULD COMMENT TOO) because then I know people are actually interested in what’s going on here hahahaha… ha… ha.

SOOOOOOO I started school this week, which was as tiring as FUCK. This was because instead of lessons and studying and shit, we spent a whole week practicing for what is a very important sports day. In Japan, sports day needs a whole week of the whole school preparing. Anyways, like most Japan exchangers I was subject to the gaijin factor. Being the only foreigner in the entire school (a part from Andy-sensei but he totally does not count) I am something of a celebrity. People approach me and are like “DO YOU KNOW MY NAME?” and I’m just all… “I’VE NEVER SEEN YOU BEFORE IN MY LIFE SOB SOB”. The pressure guys, it kills. Anyways, not only am I a gaijin, I’m a stupid gaijin, so this makes me even more entertaining to the Japanese. Well, at least I’m doing okay in the friend department because everyone thinks I’m batshit insane. I have chicks to eat lunch with, and people to talk to and I think I’m doing well but maybe this is just the honeymoon period which will probably go away tomorrow when I go to school again. Waaaah.

So. Undokai, the major Japanese sports day. There are three teams– Sekigun, Shigun and Hakugun. My team was Hakugun, and we were totally the coolest. Most Japanese exchangers will know due to the name that the team was white but FOR THOSE OF YOU WHO AREN’T COOL ENOUGH… my team was white. We wore white baseball caps and everything. Anyways, we spent a week practicing our little cheerleading stint, which was hilarious and also this super cool thing that I don’t know the name of. It was like those typical Asian dances with drums and stuff and lots of punching and kung fu and it looked AWESOME because our senpai are AWESOME and oh my god words cannot explain how absolutely COOL it was. I wish I video’d it but I couldn’t because… well, I was part of it. SOB.

Each second year class (I am in class 2-2 ftw) had to do a wee stageshow thing, and ours sucked. Despite ours sucking, we still came first??? I don’t know how that happened, but who cares we were ICHIBAN. Anyways, that was pretty nerve-wracking (almost as nerve-wracking as the speech I had to give in front of the whole fucking school on Monday but let’s not talk about that) but it was fun watching the other classes UNTIL this one class decided cross-dressing would be funny. Men in womens’ clothing is my one greatest fear so I felt like crying even though it was fucking hilarious. Like, seriously.

This all took place on Saturday which I’m pretty sure was called Bunkasai but ya never know. Nothing much happened then, except watching stage shows and shit and I hung out with my two mates from kyuudo club, Ayumi and Kana. THEY’RE LOVELY. And for those who don’t know, kyuudo is like… archery. In fact, it IS archery only more frustrating because there’s all these different forms and it’s really precise and I just want to shoot some damn arrows already damnit.  But it’s fun and it gives me something to do and on Sunday I am going to kyuudo competition thing to watch and that’ll be AWESOME because if you’ve never watched kyuudo you’re missing out, man, because it is pretty intense.

So, trailing back again, I’ll talk about Friday where I hung out with the Kashima festival boffs. Who are pretty cool, though I can’t for the life of me remember their names. This is why I have fashioned nicknames for all of them. There is Oji– my host uncle; Earring– some quiet guy with one long earring; Baka– this annoying dude who’s pretty dumb and who everyone calls baka anyway; Gorilla– the awesome takoyaki maker; Senpai– everyone calls him Senpai, which makes me wonder if it’s his real name… anyways, he’s the hippest Japanese I’ve met yet; Kuro(black)-chan– thankfully others call HIM that, so I don’t feel as awkward…; Jumpsuit– who’s always wearing a white jumpsuit… seriously; Postman– somehow I remembered his career but not his name; Boygirl– this woman who has reeealllyyy short hair; Shorty– he’s well… short; Delinquent #1– he looks like a stereotypical delinquent; Delinquent #2– he looks like another stereotypical delinquent and finally Scrawny, who is so skinny he looks like he could crack just by walking. There’s more, but I have not yet gotten to know them well enough to give them a nickname. HMMMM. Anyways, me and some peeps were messing about with fireworks on Friday night (fireworks in Japan are waaaay cooler and more interactive than Scottish ones) and then suddenly there’s a ROAAARRRR of bike engines and Delinquent #1 and #2 come along on motorbikes and my friend nearly shot a firework at one of them. Hahaha, priceless comedy.

Okaaaay, so what else to saaaaay… my classmates are awesome, btw! They make me feel really welcome and I think I can become great friends with them. Also, Hakugun lost undokai LOL LOL LOL. And our senpai who had been leading the thing shook of all our hands and the biggest ikemen (popular cool guy in school but I don’t see the appeal…) was crying it was hilarious I was trying not to laugh and my friend was beside me being all like “DON’T LAUGH DON’T LAUGH” but I managed to control myself. Ahurhurhurhur. Anyways, it’s sooooooooo hot here. I’m really sunburnt LOL it like, hurts to walk. And my face is all red and it is sooooo not attractive. Also, my hair always turns curly by the end of school which is frustrating. In kyuudo I have to practice my posture in a mirror and all I can think is “OH SHIT I LOOK AWFUL OH SHIT I LOOK AWFUL” and what’s worse at the end of undokai I was trying to meet my host sister at the bottom of the hill and I ended up being twenty minutes late because every five steps I took someone stopped me and was all like “PHOTO ONEGAISHIMASU” and I had to take like… thirty photographs with people. Now I understand how celebrities feel. And now thirty Japanese people have photographs of me after copius amounts of exercise with curly hair looking pretty frustrated. OH WELL.

by the way, my japanese is improving slowly but steadily… more happened, but I can’t be bothered writing about it hahaha. I’m having a great time, but I really miss you guys– I’ve been craving brawlovers and fish and chips. FISH AND FUCKING CHIPS. I AM SO FUCKING BRITISH LOL.

‘Till next time! PEEEAAACCEEE!

ps. ike ike ike ikeeeee hakugun. woaaah hakugun woaaah hakugun wooooaah hakugun HA-KU-GUN!